How Players Fail Themselves.

Sometimes it really is on you.

Picture this, you are sitting down at the table having just tried whatever the new hotness in ttrpgs is with your whole crew, and while everyone else is talking about how much fun they are having, you aren’t enjoying it at all! The GM and every other player seems to love it and you just are really not having fun! So, you sit down and examine why you might not like it, you are after all, a good player, like the mechanics of the game, you aren’t in a toxic group, and your own individual character is mechanically satisfying to play, you just aren’t sure why you are bouncing off the campaign.

The answer is you, it is not a horrible unforgivable thing, but nine times out of ten you didn’t build a character that interacts with the tone and themes of the game. You can change it though, even if the campaign has already started, even if you are near the middle of the tale, you can make it different and actually start really enjoying it.

But I Wouldn’t Do That!

Look, I don’t think you did it intentionally, but it happened. There are a couple of ways that it could have happened, let’s run down some of the most obvious causes of this situation.

Did you resurrect a character from a previous Campaign: Look, this can work in some fringe cases, but this is a pretty likely cause of this issue. If I took the protagonist of Pride and Prejudice and dropped them into The Terminator with no other changes, the story might work but you’d definitely be weirded out by Lizzy running around in a ball gown in Los Angeles.

Did You Build Your Character Before Session Zero: Like all of these examples this is not a hard rule, but if you showed up to session zero knowing exactly the abilities and personality of the character you are going to play and don’t change it all as a result of that, that could be your problem.

The Character intentionally doesn’t interact with the tone or theme: If your GM told you at session 0 that a theme was going to be greed and you played someone who doesn’t think about money at all, if it’s about whether or not a machine has a soul and you are a person who is apathetic to that, that is the problem.

Now, some of our dear readers might be reading this and say “But my GM approved the character.”¹ Every single person in a group has fun differently, so what seemed fine for the GM is clearly not fine for you, which means it’s time to self-correct. If every other person is having fun, if the situation isn’t toxic, if you look at the mechanics and you cannot find something in them you dislike, it’s time for us to change.

How Do I Change?

This is literally the easiest part of this problem, First, check your character’s tone against the tone of the campaign. If you find that your character is out of harmony with the tone of the campaign and group it is time for a gentle adjustment, Step one is to let the rest of the participants know you are doing this, that way they know and can actually help facilitate your character growing into a darker and more serious version of themselves or even the opposite and take you on a trip to lighten up! The hardest part with this is that I cannot give you specific ‘this advice will always work here’ instead just carefully start having your character change into the more fitting version, don’t feel a need to rush, spend some time on it and it can honestly feel very rewarding and interesting, plus your fun should be improving every session.

The tone is huge, because the GM and every other player are building the world with the tone throughout, and so if you are out of alignment with that it will carry forward into everything. An incredibly important note here is the simple fact that if you are reading this saying “But, I don’t like the tone of the game.” You have three real options, the first one is to leave the game and come back on the next one, the second is to try the tone on for size and maybe discover something you might end up enjoying, and the final is to continue not having fun. I’m not going to tell you which one to do, but that is what it boils down to, The GM probably covered this as you were building characters at session zero, so asking them to change it now isn’t cool.

If you have adjusted the tone and don’t feel your experience improving it’s time to look at themes. This is a bit more interesting of an avenue for a fix, because you have options, look at the themes of your game, pick one that isn’t being interacted with, and decide your character’s interaction with it. If a theme is greed, you are equally invested if your character hates the greedy and wants nothing to do with them as if your character becomes greedy and starts demanding their fair share from NPCs. Once again, let the rest of the group know you are doing this! They might even have some suggestions for themes and how your character has already touched on them that you have missed!

There is a corollary here, if one side of the theme is clearly villainous, check in with the rest of the group and make sure they are all comfortable with you portraying it. If the group of Machine Rights activists suddenly has a member talking about how you can’t trust any robot, it’s going to create friction and awkwardness, so just talk to your fellow participants.

It Worked! Kind of.

So you did all that and while you are having fun, you still aren’t having your maximum fun. That’s rough, and I do empathize having been in this situation, but you are just going to have to ride the waves here. I can not be your guide any further because you are just going to have to keep doing it, interact with the theme and tone, and take any opportunity that comes your way to do so, let your character grow and change and sooner or later you will be there with the rest of the friends, enjoying the game.

It Didn’t Work!

Reconfirm the earlier, confirm that you are enjoying the mechanics, that the group dynamic is enjoyable for you, and then reconfirm that you connected well to your new theme and tone, If all of that still stands it is entirely possible that this campaign just isn’t for you, at which point you have your other options.

I Don’t Understand Why I Should Change

Really? If not you then who.

How Do I Prevent This From Happening

Let’s talk about Session Zero, and how the hell to make them more effective, especially in regards to tone and theme. Tone comes before theme because Tone is more saturated in a campaign and setting than themes, so it merits discussion first.

If you are the GM you should mention a general tone before going into theme, because a tone can be as simple as “Dark, focusing on the horror of being a professional grave robber.” to as complicated as “Dark when we focus on the horrors of the ongoing war, and light when we focus on the camaraderie between our conscripted troops, and some very grey tones when we interact with the civilian victims of this action.” the worst thing a GM can do in this situation is to simply say “Oh, just y’know, the kinda tone you expect from X System/Setting.” because every person at the table will have a different expectation of what that means. Be specific, tell the table what you actually want from the game, You are a participant and have some sort of intent for what you are going to do, commit to it.

If you are a player, ask questions, if you are not sure what exactly they mean ask for an example of the vibe, and then confirm what you are thinking. Offer opinions “I don’t mind the darkness of the fantasy grave-robbers, but is it okay if we are brighter when we are out of the dungeons.” if you dislike one of the tones the GM mentions, say something about it now. “I don’t like the idea of our interactions with the civilians being strictly gray, can you push it more one way or the other.”

When it comes to Theme the GM should be sure to drill down on the Themes that they for sure are going to include, but also once again be a little more specific “We are doing how Greed leads to a downfall.” or “How Governments cannot be trusted.” instead of just Greed and Government.

Players should ask questions about Theme, but also discuss how they are going to be explored the question of if it is appropriate for a player character to feel x way about y theme is a great one for session zero! This is also your chance to say “Hey I was thinking about building a former government agent, and I’m going to tie him into the ‘How Governments cannot be trusted’ theme this way.” and to really lock in some interesting stuff around that. It’s also your chance to say “Hey, I was really hoping we could explore some themes about alienation.” or “We explored greed in our last campaign, can we minimize it in favor of some of these other themes?” and have a frank discussion with the other participants.

Final Thoughts

That’s right, I think a lot of enjoyment sits in your hands dear player, and I think that this is a clever thing that you can pick up to increase not just your own enjoyment, but the whole group. If you notice an improvement, you are duty-bound to pass this knowledge on. I know once I realized it, I started having a lot of fun, and everyone started complimenting me, so uh, give it a shot.

1. Also, good job hiding behind someone who isn’t here.